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In Spirit Of The New Year.

So, I went on a little hiatus and got a little caught up on life. This blog isn’t to make me money and it isn’t to get attention. It’s has two purposes.

1.Help people that have been in the same situations as me or have the same type of mentality as me.

2. Clear MY mind and help me relax. I enjoy writing but sometimes life gets in the way.

A few posts ago, I wrote about my not so perfect life. So, by the time I get home from work and do my “2nd job,” sometimes I’m too tired to even open up my laptop. Sometimes, I’m even asleep before my daughter. LOL!

Anyway, this year, I will be planning out my posts a little bit better and organizing myself so I have time and energy to write more frequently. This goal brings me to the reasoning for this post.

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What are your plans for 2018 and how do you plan to keep up with your goals?

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Now, I’m not a huge “resolution girl.” BUT – I am extremely goal driven and I am constantly making up different plans for myself to be more successful, east healthier, be a better mom/person, etc. Make it a point, for yourself, to come up with realistic goals for 2018 and stick to them. It doesn’t necessarily have to be to eat healthier, go back to the gym or enroll in school. This year, I’m striving for even better mental health. My anxiety has subsided over the years but why not keep working at it? There is one thing that comes to mind when I think about mental health and how to prevent issues. Simplicity. My mother always told me (especially after I became a mother) to simplify my life. I never realized the wonders it could do.  Simplifying could mean a lot of things, depending on your lifestyle. My vow for 2018 is to make my life easier. Not only for my sake and the people around me, but for the sake of my daughter. A simple life for me = a simple life for her.

Ok, so I have my goal, my lifestyle change. Do you have yours? It’s okay if you don’t. Goals and changes aren’t limited to New Years only. You can make changes in May. You might wake up on September 9th and say “I need to make this change.” Do what feels right. If you don’t think you need a change right now, DONT DO IT. But, It’s always good to have something to be working toward and have purpose to what you are doing. I always have something new that I’m striving for. Don’t limit yourself. Anyway, set realistic goals with realistic timelines.  Don’t walk into it with this big goal that you know isn’t going to happen. Find something that makes you step out of your comfort zone but not so uncomfortable that you won’t want to work toward it. When you first start, pick small goals. Super small. Drink more water. Now, go to the store, buy a cute water container and some lemons. Fill it up and drink it. Download the water tracker on your phone and do it! Small goals turn into big ones. After that, you can start eating healthier. Go on Pinterest and search meal preps. Meal prepping turns into working out. Working out turns into body building. Body building turns into coaching others to transform their lifestyle just like you did. I bet you didn’t think your plan to drink more water would turn into motivating and coaching others. The limit does not exist. Starting small also keeps you motivated because you are able to achieve more in a short period of time.

Do whatever you need to do to keep these goals a priority. Keep them fresh in your head at all times.  Set daily reminders on your phone, make a note in your phone and use it as your background, create a vision board or simply write a note to yourself and keep it on your nightstand or in your wallet.  No matter how you do it, stay reminded. I just downloaded this application on my I-Phone called “Productive.”  With this, you can set goals daily, weekly or monthly.  You chose the category, for example health.  The subcategory, “Drink more water.” Then you get to schedule it.  You chose how many days a week you want to do it and what time of day. You’ll get a reminder each day for whatever goals you have scheduled.  I’ve been using it for about a week and LOVE so far.

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I find it very important to have an “outcome goal.” This is not a technical term, it’s just something I go by and a phrase I use to organize my thoughts.  To me, an outcome goal is most important because it tells you WHY you are working toward what you are working toward. Okay, so your goal is to eat healthy. WHY do you want to eat healthy? To lose weight, detox or just live a healthy lifestyle in general. No matter what you why is, make sure you have purpose to everything you do.  Why you do it affects how you will do it. 

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Keep motivated daily. Let your family and friends know what ideas you have and what’s going on in that noggin so they can support you, as well.  It’s always better and easier to accomplish goals with the support from loved ones. Many of the things that I have accomplished would not have been possible without the support of some very important people in my life.  It’s great to have this support system because they will be there every step of the way with you. They will be there in the beginning, middle and end when you are celebrating your success.  On the easy days, they will cheer you on and on the rough days they will cheer you up.

Last, but not least, it’s time to reflect.  You made your goal, you found your inspiration, you accepted the support and you’re doing it!! You’re flying high. Do you just stop there? Or do you continue to build. I like the sound of continuing to build. Reflect on your process. How did you get to where you are? What helped you succeed? What were some opportunities for next time? WRITE IT DOWN. Don’t forget this. This is one of the most important steps because it will help you fly even higher next time. Now you know what works and what doesn’t. Do it again with the same goal but a new plan. I can guarantee you will like the results more and more each time.  Can someone say KEY TO SUCCESS?

I know, everyone is probably wondering when we get to celebrate our success. Now. You can celebrate now. But make sure you celebrate everything and take in every moment of your journey.  Blog it, write about it, take pictures of it, sing it, dance it, talk about it, inspire others to take a journey with you.  Your success could very well influence someone else to jump on board and make a change in their life and so one. Next time you know, the whole world is making changes. One person at a time. What have you got to lose? Nothing. But you have everything to gain.

It feels so good to be back ♥♥ Samantha.

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Let It Go

Who here has ever had an anxiety attack?

I know I have. Many times. I have been having panic attacks since I was 16 years old. 10 years worth of uncontrollable, groundbreaking body shaking and heart palpitations. Unnecessary sweats. Missing out of events and get togethers I can never get back. Losing friendships and relationships. Self consciousness. Passing up opportunities. The list goes on.

I typically don’t like to bring up the past but I am a firm believer in the fact that your past makes you who you are today. So many things have happened to humanity over the years.

Having anxiety or depression is not only mental, it affects you physically, as you may already know. Sometimes one panic attack could have me sick for days.

At one point, when I didn’t have control of my life ( See “It Is (Not) What It Is”) I was on medication for the anxiety and depression. Well to make a long story short, the medicine had a reverse affect on me and did not create a great experience. It made things worse. I lost my first apartment, lost friends, almost lost my job, wasn’t getting along with my family and THIS list goes on.

After this time in my life, I thought I learned my lesson to not stress and do silly things because I continued doing silly things for 4 more years after that.

I stressed over every little thing, self medicated and was as negative as anyone could be. There were times where I didn’t leave my house because I was so afraid something was going to happen to me.

It was once I found out I was have a baby I began to stop stressing over the little things because I knew I’d have to save my energy for bigger things from there on out.

It’s very easy to get sucked into worrying about every little thing. But it’s healthier to not.

I’ll list some things I have done to easy my mind a bit, maybe some of the tips will help YOU.

  • First things first, you need to dig deep and find out exactly what it is that causes your anxiety or worry. Create a plan or write about how you are going to overcome it. Always remember, most of your worry are made up in your head!
  • Do a social media detox. Delete or unfollow anything that posts about world and politic issues, negative pages or anything that makes you cringe. Personally, I deleted Anonymous, any news pages and any pages that I noticed posted animal cruelty videos or posts frequently.
  • I do not have cable in my bedroom, therefore I do NOT watch the news. Ever! I stream movies and shows off Netflix or my computer. No news, no problem. Sometimes there is a whole lot of truth in the quote “Ignorance Is Bliss.”
  • This may go one of two ways for any given person but I have decided to limit my circle of friends. Some people like to be surrounded by people all the time, but that creates a large amount of anxiety for me.

These are just a few of the major steps I have taken to reduce my anxiety levels.

Truth of the mater, if there is something you are concerned about, take action right away. I used to be the queen of dwelling and internalizing for about a week, then coming up with a plan (another week) and then taking forever to act on it. I have wasted so much time on “planning.” If you are a natural worrier, you need to be able to think and act quick on your troubles. It will make a big difference. And if it’s something you physically, mentally or financially can’t accomplish at that time, just be patient and shift your energy to something more positive. I’m still learning but I’d love to take you all on this journey and help each other out on the way.

❤️❤️❤️Happy Sunday, Samantha

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Be You.

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There is only one you.

You only get one opportunity at life. Make the best of it and live it to your fullest potential.

When we are children, we are usually taught to do things a certain way and it follows us to when we become teenagers and then adults, depending on how we were raised. At some point, we start to develop our own sense of music choice, style, values and interests in general. Our career path may change multiple times, our friend group may change even more times and we may change our diet from vegetarian to low-carb every other week. Who cares? As long as your morals and values stay consistent with being a decent human being and you treat others with respect, what does it matter what you like and do not like ?

Let’s go back to high school, for a minute. There were so many different groups of people. You had the musicians, gangstas, jocks and cheerleaders, emo kids, stoners, loners, nerds, class pets, drama club and skaters. Then you had the posers (someone who likes something just because its cool at the moment.) If you were a combination of more than one of these groups, you were weird and did not fit in .Now, high school is a good time for these groups.  But after high school, not so much. As human beings, we should not be classified with a label. And we should not classify other people with a label.

Me specifically, I find myself to dip into each group at times.  Does that make me weird ? No. Who said we all need to do things a certain way to fit in? Growing up I was always different. I have a wide variety of interests which seems weird to some people but guess what, I DONT CARE! Everything about me, makes me… me. If one thing was different about me, I would be totally different.

My music goes from Slipknot to frank Sinatra to Green Day to Justin Bieber . Red Hot Chilli Peppers, A Day To Remember and Ellie Goulding to name a few. I don’t like designer brands. Some days I get dressed and do my hair and makeup, other days I look like I just rolled out of bed. I drink a ridiculous amount of coffee and I vape. Sometimes I like to be alone. Other times I can’t stand my own company. I’m human and I’m me. You are human and you are you. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are not good enough. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your goals or dreams are silly. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are wrong for liking what you like and doing what you do. If it makes you happy, it doesn’t matter who approves it. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, ALWAYS!

If we were all uniform and the same, there would be no fun in this crazy life. There would be no sparks and no curiosity. There would be no such thing as soulmates because we would all be the same. What we likes separates us from everyone else. It creates your individuality and makes you who you are.

It’s very easy to get caught up in the latest fads and between social media and the internet in general. All You have to do is go on Instagram and search a hashtag. Do you want to be just another hashtag or do you want to make an impression?

#Sweetdreams ❤️❤️❤️ Samantha

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It Is (Not) What It Is

It Is What It Is.

One of the most used, lazy, ridiculous quotes out there. I used to say this all the time. Then I realized, it is NOT what it is. I have control of my life. It is what it is is the ambitious way of saying something along the lines of “I don’t have control of the situation.”

You see, almost everything we go through, we have the ability to have power. Not all the time, though. There are certain times and instances where we do not have control but we do have control over how we react to it.

For lack of better terms, in my eyes, if you live by this quote, you need to rethink who or what inspires you and take control of your life.

A bunch of years ago, probably close to 10 years ago, I got into some trouble with a close friend at the time. I didn’t really care much about life, quite honestly, I didn’t want to be here anymore (at that time.) I felt I had no purpose because I was about to graduate high school with no plan, no support, no real friends and hated the world. I looked at this situation as just another day, I’ll take the consequences and keep doing the same thing over and over again. It is what it is, right ? I thought I had no control over what I was doing.

I didn’t do much growing, mentally, until I was about 21. Even then, it was very slow for me. Now, when I was 21, I got into some more trouble ( I promise I’m a good girl now ) At this point, I had already started to mature and with me, it’s all or nothing, so I wasn’t turning back just because something bad happened to me. Not once did I say or think it is what it is. I made every possible change I could make. I read every possible book I could read. I went to every single meeting I could get to. And I paid every single dime I had to. It wasn’t what it was. And it isn’t what it is.

I had the opportunity to change my life and by believing I was in control, it got me very far. I had a head start, compared to other people.

I feel that if we change the way we think and perceive things, we can move mountains as the human race. We can make a difference if we reflect and see what’s really going on.

Everyone says they want to change the world or they wish things were different. Well guess what, it isn’t what it is.

We may feel stuck at times and feel like we are getting nowhere but keep working on the situation at hand and you will see changes. It may not take a day, a week, a month or even a year but when you look back, you’ll think to yourself “I’m glad I didn’t leave things as is.”

I’m sure glad I didn’t leave things as they were.

Remember. Reflect. Redo. ❤️❤️❤️ Samantha

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Get To Know Me

So I’m having a bit of a mental block tonight but want to keep the consistency of writing each day.  I found a pin on Pinterest of 50 personal questions that I will share with you.  I think a Get To Know Me is always super important when you put yourself out there. For a few reasons… 1) I want you to know I’m just like you. 2) Some things may not just come out in a typical blog entry, so why not play 21 (50 in this case) questions.  I have not looked at any of the questions yet, so I am a bit nervous. I will try to be as transparent as possible. Here goes nothing!

  1. Who was the last person you held hands with ?  Technically, my daughter. We always hold hands, even  when we are home sometimes.  Always when we are out though.
  2. Are you loud, outgoing or shy ? This is a good one.  It all depends on my surroundings.  Personality tests say I am a solid extrovert. I feed off of other peoples energy.  It’s case by case with me though.  I am a huge combo of all 3.
  3. Who are you looking forward to seeing ? Wouldn’t you like to know. Next,
  4. Are you easy to get along with ? Super. I can adapt to just about any personality.
  5. Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to him or her ? Haven’t we all ? Especially if its someone you really cared or cared about.  I’ve done it a few times but recently I made a promise to myself, if things didn’t work out the first time, I’m not going back. I’m trying to move forward, not backward.
  6. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you ? I would hope so.
  7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship 2 months from now ? Who knows? Right now, I’m just chillen.  If I am, awesome-sauce. If not, just as awesome.
  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind ? Why are there so many questions about my love life ? Can I answer a question with a question?
  9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No.
  10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with ? My family.
  11. What does your most recent text say ? “I’m pretty excited.”
  12. How do you feel about abortion ? This is a touchy subject to me and a lot of women. I’m pro choice – within reason, responsibly. I feel a woman should be able to do what she wants and feels she needs to do with her body. But like I said, within reason, there comes a certain point in the term where its unacceptable.
  13. Do you like big crowds of people ? Eh, not really. This is another thing that depends on who I’m with. a crowd of people I do not know, NO WAY. People I know, sometimes. LOL. I prefer small, intimate crowds.
  14. Do you believe in luck and miracles ? For lack of better terms, no.  I believe in hard work and morals. In extreme situations such as near death experiences and pregnancy, yes. Anything else, no.
  15. What good things happened this summer ? Good things are always happening lately. But this summer… I got a really cool job transfer to a location that was so new to me and got me to where I am now.
  16. Would  you kiss the last person you kissed again ? For sure.
  17. Do you think there is life on other planets ? There has to be. There cant be 8 other big balls of rock and lava just floating around with no purpose.
  18. Do you still talk to your first crush ? I couldn’t even tell you who my first crush was.
  19. Do you like bubble baths ?  I happen to LOVE bubble baths.
  20. Do you like your neighbors ? I don’t really know them but sure. They seem cool.
  21. What are your bad habits ? I’m very insecure. I twirl/knot my hair when I’m anxious.  I pick my eyebrows sometimes.
  22. Where would you like to travel ? Italy has always been a dream of mine but lately I’ve been broadening my horizons with my bucket list. I’d love to go anywhere I can see a live penguin, in its habitat. Not in captivity.  I’d love to go to Africa and see ALL the animals.
  23. Do you have trust issues ? Big time, but I’m working on it.
  24. Favorite part of your daily routine ? Probably putting my pj’s on and snuggling with Christina.
  25. What body parts are you most uncomfortable with ? My legs and stomach.  My body changed a LOT after I had Christina.  My stomach used to be flat and if I got bloated, I could get it back to normal very quickly. Now, it’s very difficult to keep the pounds off.
  26. What do you do when you wake up ? During the week, I get right in the shower. Weekends, I typically will watch some TV in bed for an hour or so.
  27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker ? I like my skin color.
  28. Who are you most comfortable around ? Myself.
  29. Have any of your x’s told you they regret breaking up ? Yes. Bye Felicia.
  30. Do you ever want to get married ? I’d love to get married someday.
  31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail ? Yes, it is. A big floofy ponytail.
  32. Which celebrities would you like having a 3some with ? Lord .. Justin Bieber and Vinny from Jersey Shore. I’d marry the shit out of Vinny, though. So I don’t know if I could have a 3 some with him. LMAO
  33. Spell your name with your chin. Well the circumstances don’t call for that right now.
  34. Do you play sports ? I do not.
  35. Would you rather live without TV or music ? TV. I can’t live without music. Music heals all.
  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them ? Yes. A few times. The time just didn’t call for it.
  37. What do you say during awkward silences ? I typically don’t have awkward silences. But if I notice something starting to get weird, I typically say “Well this is awkward. “
  38. Do you think age matters in a relationship ? Eh, it really depends. I don’t think minors and legal age should be mingling. I don’t think age matters in the grand scheme of things though.
  39. What are your favorite stores to shop in ? I’m a huge Marshals, TJMaxx and Home Goods fan. I LOVE S DSW. Sephora, obviously. Best Market.  Target.
  40. What do you want to do after high school ? I guess this was meant for high schoolers. Well, I’ve been out of high school 8 years and I am NOT doing what I thought I’d be doing. Always remember, things don’t always play out the way you want it to. Go with the flow and always have a back up plan.
  41. Do you believe everybody deserves a second chance ? Yes. And 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th. I’m a huge forgiver.  I take people back until my heart is completely sore. THEN I cut my ties. I like to see as much good in people as possible. Once I see no more good, I end it.
  42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does that mean ? It means I’m either taking everything and I’m at loss for words, in a good way. OR I’m thinking HARDCORE about something.
  43. Do you smile at strangers ? Of course I do.
  44. Trip to outer space or the bottom of the ocean ? This is a hard one …. I think outer space.
  45. Do you want a roommate ? I’ve done it a few times. At the moment, no, I do not.
  46. What are you paranoid about ? Just about everything. Literally. I’ve gotten better though.
  47. What is the meanest thing someone ever said to you ? Mean guys used to call me fat in high school, so I guess those fat jokes.
  48. The nicest thing. I deserve all good things to happen for me and am a beautiful person, inside and out.
  49. Have you done anything recently that you hope no one finds out about ? Not really, I don’t hide things or keep secrets.
  50. What language would you like to learn ? Italian, duah.

 

That was actually kind of fun. Things like this, really make me thing sometimes so it’s good to get my juices flowing again.  We are all human. We all have fears and we all have insecurities. All we can do it lift each other up and realize that we are all the same. Net worth and how large our posse is, means nothing. It’s whats in your heart and the level of humanity you present. Hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll be doing some Thanksgiving posts this week !! ♥♥ Suh-man-tha

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Perfect Life

I think the biggest mistake we make as humans in general is being too hard on ourselves. We post funny, graceful pix on Instagram but are we really that smooth in real life ? I know I am (not). I cry, get angry, break down and get anxious. But I wouldn’t trade this life for anything.

Let me take you through a typical weekday, in my life. I’ll post some pictures also, this way we can compare the pictures to the actual scenario and see how suave I really am.

Alarm set for 5AM, 5:30AM, 6AM, 6:30AM and 7AM. Wakes up at 7:10AM. We’re already off to a great start. Jump in the shower, get out by 7:23AM and look at my phone to check the time and think to myself “Shit, I’m going to be late again. I guess I’m not doing my hair or makeup AGAIN.”  Moisturize, get dressed and comb hair QUICK.

Now, it’s time to wake up the beast, I mean angel.  “Christina……Christina…………….CHRISTINA” ( Sometimes I wake her up before my shower this way she already starts to wake up) Get her washed up and dressed. It’s now 7:35. I have to leave now if I want to make it to work on time. She didn’t even want to wake up on Halloween morning. What kid doesn’t want to get up on Halloween?

Key phrases in the morning-

“Can I watch TV?” No. But if you are good today, you can watch 1 TV show before bed”

“Can I have candy?” No. But there’s yogurt and cereal downstairs.

“Are we going to school?” Yes, we are.

“But I’m still tired, I want to sleep in your bed.” You can sleep in the car. We have a 35 minute drive.

“Where’s Nugget and Rocco?” In Annies room.

“Are you going to work?” Yes, I am.

These questions are asked and answered different words on an average of 2 times 3-each per morning.  My daughter is only 3 so patience is key. I use different tactics to get her up and out as quickly as possible and a majority of the time, it works.

I always plug my destination into Google Maps to see if there is any excessive traffic or alternate routes. Excessive traffic, who am I kidding, its Long Island, of course there is excessive traffic.  A typical morning commute takes about 35 minutes to get to Christina’s Pre-School and a 5-7 minute drop off, because she doesn’t want me to leave her and then a 15 minute drive to work, in extreme traffic. I try to leave my house an hour before my shift starts but typically it doesn’t work that way.

Once I get to work, I immediatly wonder whats for breakfast and inhale a cup of coffee. Then I scroll through Emails and updates. Then get my work day started. Non- stop after this. My head is spinning all day. Lunch starts to creep up real quickly and next thing I know, its time to close up and go do my evening commute.  I typically get out of work around 5PM these days and sit in my car just listening to some music for about 10 minutes before I continue with my crazy day. I recently transferred to a different department/location so traffic is even worse! “I’ll take the back roads today, it’ll be better than the LIE” Why would you so that girlfriend? There’s a detour and an accident within a mile of each other. At this point I’ve accepted the fact that it’s going to take a 15 minute drove, 35 minutes to get to. Turn up the music!

I get to Christinas school and go figure, she doesn’t want to leave. I have to chase her around the school just to get her jacket on because she has to say goodbye to everyone and just doesn’t want to leave. Finally I get her little coat on and she looks so cute, like a snow bunny.

Time to drive… again. 45 minutes home. OY! Dinner, bath, and bed. Well… I sing to Christina and tickle her to sleep almost every night. Call it what you want but it’s the only quality time I get to spend with her all week.

Sometimes I pass out before her. Sometimes I’m overtired and stay up writing until 2am. Sometimes it’s just average.

But hey, my life is perfect. In the end, every bit of craziness is worth it. I wouldn’t trade my life for the world.

❤️❤️ Keep on keeping on, Samantha

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You Can Go & Love Yourself

Why is it that all we want is to find true love ? How come some of us are not completely satisfied with our lives unless we are constantly with someone that loves us? Our self worth is measured by likes and comments and “😘😍😜.” How did this happen? Where did we go wrong?

At some point, we stopped putting effort in loving ourselves and put one of our most important organs in the hands of someone else. Our hearts. Don’t get me wrong, we were put on this planet to do just that, but somewhere… someone got confused. It was taken to the extreme. I don’t mean to build a wall and shut everyone out. I mean, do the total opposite, but put yourself first. Love with open arms but protect yourself. If you love yourself, you’ll be able to spend time with yourself and not get bored. You’ll be able to go to the diner alone and not feel awkward because you know your in good company. Wake up every morning and tell yourself “I love YOU.” Have faith in YOURSELF. Don’t ever underestimate your capabilities. Screw what everyone else says or thinks about your dreams, goals, interests or hobbies. If you don’t support me…. BYEEEE.

Loving yourself is the key to happiness. Once you develop this self love, your anxiety’s and insecurities will come to an end. This another thing in the works for me right now, but everyday I get a little bit closer.

My brain- “Jeze, Samantha, all these big projects.”

Me- “Keep em comin!!”

❤️❤️With love, alwaysSamantha

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Step Back & Reset.

I’m a huge advocate of “you” time. It’s very important for you to just take time to yourself and shut everything off for a bit. Weather you schedule a stay-cation from work or book a trip, it’s super important to turn it all off.  Every since I became a mom, I was always told I wouldn’t be able to take care of Christina unless I took care of myself first. Boy, is that the truth. I never realized how important it was.  How can you take care of a tiny human when you have all these thoughts going around in your mind like a twister? We do it on a daily basis but sometimes you need to empty that noggin.

Most of the time,  my me time is a long drive down to the beach or no destination with a LOT of music.  Sometimes, my me time is spending time with family.  No matter what my me time is, there always needs to be music.  Find that things that helps you shut your brain off and keep it as your “go-to.” Change it up sometimes, but always keep that one thing in mind.



 

Over the past weekend, I got to enjoy a beautiful weekend in Orlando, Florida, with my mom and her best friend, Dawn.  My mom took me for my golden birthday. I turned 26 on October 26th. How awesome is that?

For years and years and years, I did not have the best relationship with my mother. I was always the type to push away those closest to me and block them out of my life. I did this to my own mother.  Over the past 2 years or so, things really started to change. I became more mature and really started appreciating everything in my life. Over the past year, I’ve really started to build a relationship with my mom. Of course, there are bumps in the road, but we are able to work through them like adults.

I had not been on vacation with my mom in years and we have never been on vacation just the two of us.  Being so close with her made the vacation so much better.

Strutting out of work Thursday, I felt free.  Mommy worked late and I went out for some drinks with a friend.  Friday morning, I jumped out of bed so excited for our weekend.  I couldn’t think about being tired, we had a plane to catch!! We got to the airport with plenty of time to spare, so we sat down at one of the restaurants and had some breakfast. I wasn’t able to fully relax yet, since it was only the second time I was leaving the state without Christina.  Once we got on the plane, I felt even better than I did Thursday night leaving work.  For some reason, when I’m home (In New York) I constantly have the infamous anxiety stomach ache. It does not go away. Even if I’m not anxious on the surface, the stomach ache is always there. The first step on that plane, all of my worries went away.

Later on that night, we met up with my moms best friend, since high school, Dawn.  We  had some dinner and drinks and then went down to Disney Springs and walked around. I felt like I was in another world. It was the first time in I don’t know how long that I was relaxed.  Like fully relaxed.  We got back to the hotel pretty early because we had a long day and the next day would be even longer.

The next day, we went to Universal Studios and Island of Adventure. WHAT A DAY! We walked around the park the whole day; going on rides, taking pictures, laughing and just having a great time. We laughed so much we (literally) peed our pants, TWICE! We had butter-beer and regular beer. Sausages and ribs.  More beer and water. And then some more beer.

Sunday was a chill day, since it was our last full day.  We went to brunch at a really cool, hipster brunch spot/bar.  They played my type of music and the view of the lake was beautiful.  This place had awesome vibes. I could almost picture myself living there and rolling out of bed on a Sunday morning and taking Christina for breakfast and a walk around the lake. There were dogs everywhere and just a slight breeze on the lake.  I almost didn’t want to leave.

Next stop. WINERY! This was our first time at a winery, so we took it all in.  All of the wine, I mean. Everything was amazing.  We went on a tour of the winery and did a wine tasting of all the wines they make in that particular spot.

Once we got back to the hotel, it was time to say goodbye to Dawn.  It was hard to say goodbye, because it meant back to reality for all of us and that we wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while.  Mommy and I just hung out at the hotel once Dawn left.  We did a jelly bean challenge with the Harry Potter jell beans from the park. Super silly and so much fun**Don’t ever eat the earthworm or rotten egg flavor** 

The next morning, we got ready and headed to the airport to come back home. The flights were great, quick and painless (I’m not a fan of flying) I was so ready to be back with my baby girl. The look on her face, brought tears to my eyes. “MOMMYYYYY!!” It was so nice to hear her voice and see her face.



When we take our well deserved us time. You time. Family time. Whatever time you need to take to reset yourself, we are able to come back to a clean slate and a fresh start to conquer and rise higher than we did before.  Take care of yourself. Mentally, physically and emotionally.

I learned a lot in one weekend.  I learned a lot about myself and I learned a lot about life.  I can’t wait to share it with all of you.

To be continued….♥
Samantha

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Free Your Mind

Last time we got together, I wrote about being happy. How are we doing with that? Are we instantly happy yet? Are we over the moon? Are we ecstatic over every aspect of our lives? I think I know the answer to all of these questions. The answer is, simply, no.

Let’s take a typical Monday-Friday work week. You feel super inspired Sunday night before you go to sleep. You wake up Monday morning happy as a pig in mud. Late to work, still happy. Forgot debit card at home, still happy. Get home, make dinner, give baths, put the kids to bed; Still happy through all the chaos. Repeat Tuesday and Wednesday. Still happy. You get home Wednesday, BOOM it happens. You get stuck in a rut. Nothing specific happened, you just get … funky.  For some reason, you can’t pull yourself out of it so you clam up and talk to not a single soul.  Your agitated and irritable.  Now, you start thinking of all the negative things in your life and in the world. How do you feel now? Worse. You push everyone away and now your going to sleep upset because the people closest to you are disappointed and confused.  Thursday rolls around, you wake up with a knot in your stomach from the night before. You forget your debit card at home and your late to work. How do you feel now? WORSE. We just wasted 1 whole day and will never get it back.  All because you don’t know how to control your own emotions.  Who knows us better than ourselves? No one. So, why can’t we pull ourselves out?  Or so we thought. Guess what, You can !

 

With daily stress and struggle, you need to be able to free your mind at some point during the day or at night. You should have something you can think of during the day that pulls you right out, or at least makes you feel a little bit better.

A song, person, pet, place. Anything. Sometimes, I don’t even need to think of my person, place or thing. I can just say to myself “Samantha, What the hell are you doing, your acting like an idiot. STOP!!!!!!!” Don’t get me wrong, this does not happen often but when it does I feel so blessed that I am at the point where I can pull myself out of it and I’m mindful of my emotions.

Try to find a little bit of peace in everything. This way, everywhere you go, you have something to lean on.

I’m going to share some things I do to keep me sane or that helps pull me out of a funk. I’d love to hear what you do to free your mind. Leave it in the comments if you’d like to share. 

 

  • Your support system is NUMBER 1. It is imperative to have people around you that understand what you are going through. Just because someone has not gone through the same thing you go through, doesn’t mean they cant be support. Sometimes, we just need someone to listen or be a shoulder to cry on.  And I don’t mean a whole circle of “friends.” I mean a select few people that love you unconditionally.  You can tell them anything that you are feeling and they won’t judge you or change the way they feel for you.  Most of the time, you can find this in your parents or siblings. Sometimes, we are lucky enough to find this in a boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend.  Always, always, always keep your people updated on how you are feeling.  support.jpg
  • Find a song, artist, playlist, station that makes you float away. It doesn’t have to be slow, calming music. It doesn’t have to be inspirational music. My music of choice when I’m in a funk is typically Linkin Park,  Red Hot Chilli Peppers or the “Down In The Dumps” playlist on Spotify. How ironic? I listen to all of these religiously when I’m in a good mood, also.  Music is a great escape.  There is nothing more beautiful than connecting with the artist via lyrics and tunes. When you listen to music that you connect with, it proves that you are not alone with what you are feeling. You know that at the very least, that artist has gone through what you are going through. Plus all the fans. chester.jpg
  • Quotes, Quotes, Quotes. I am IMMEDIATELY better every time I Google Inspirational or Motivational Quotes.  This kind of ties into having a go to song because if you have a song you like, there has to be at least one verse that you really connect with.  Read quotes or sing that verse to yourself and it should help pull some of the pressure off.

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  • Think of your goals. There is nothing more motivating than having realistic goals. Everything we do in life has an end result. So, if you are working toward something specific, you wouldn’t let anything get in the way of it.  Whenever I feel myself getting into some type of weird feelings, I’ll think of what I’m working toward and kind of slap myself out of it. Is it really worth it to risk not accomplishing your goals or pushing someone away you really care about just to be miserable for a day? I’ll answer that for you. No, it’s not worth it.
  • Treat your body right. Decaff tea, hot shower, water with lemon, seltzer and coffee in moderation.  Typically, when I’m in a mood, I can’t eat. Drinking these things help settle my stomach so I can eat. When you are ready to eat again, be mindful of what you are putting into you body. Alcohol, caffeine and sugar will only make you feel worse in the long run. I always notice a difference in my mood if I have fast food or a home cooked healthy meal with lots of greens and protein.
  • Write. How ironic. When I’m not feeling like myself, I write my feelings in a journal. It doesn’t have to be something fancy, just get your feelings out. You can’t internalize every little thought that goes through your head.  Write it, blog it, sing it, bop it, pull it, push it. Dananananana.  Do whatever you have to do to get the negative thoughts out of your head.

 

Nobody said it was easy. It really is worth it though. Your mental state impacts everything you do. Your job, raising children, having a relationship.  My parents always told me “You can’t take care of someone else or make someone else happy unless you are happy and sane.” Boy, were they right.  You’r mental health is so important. Even the mildest “bad moods” can,  in the long run, turn into something serious, like addition or serious mental disorders. Take care of you first and everything else will fall into place.

Would you rather live your life or just exist? I know I want to live my life to the fullest. Together, we can make the change. Like I said before, I’d love to hear what you do to keep your mind clear. ♥♥ Samantha

 

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If anyone ever needs anyone to reach out to, I’m here. I’m not a professional but I
 can promise you I care and will try to help or at the very least, just listen. No one deserves to feel alone in a time of need. 

 

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Can You Keep A Secret?

secret-to-being-happy

 

Why should this concept be a secret ? Why cant we just be. There is too much stress and fighting in the world, why not make your world the best it can be? I feed off of you and you feed off of me.

Before you just become happy, like *poof* I’M HAPPY, you have to understand by making this switch you may never go back to feeling negative and you MAY experience love like no other and feel like you have never felt before.

You see, a bunch of years back, I was numb. Occasionally,  I would drink myself numb. Other times, I would sleep myself numb. Either way, I did not want to feel. For the longest time, I felt like it would be easier and in my best interest to live life this way.  After a series of ( Un)fortunate events, I like to call them blessings, I started to change my mindset. Then, after my  Christina was born, I REALLY changed my mindset ( For the most part )

This is something I struggle with quite often. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily stresses of life and forget to breathe. I’ve really been trying to just be happy and for the most part it’s been working.  I look at every morning as a new start. Yesterday’s problems are typically not following you to the next day. Take full advantage of that. A few posts ago I wrote about starting your day off being thankful for something. Doing this will get you started on the right foot for having a great day. When you get out of bed with a smile on your face, nothing can stop you. I remember this one morning, I woke up and said “I’m going to be happy today” I literally said that 🤣 Little, stupid, annoying things kept happening to me all day and I was able to brush it all off because I started my day off on a great foot. Where you are in life is not permanent. Where you are in life is temporary. So make the best of it. Good or bad. Life is what YOU make it.

What makes happiness is not the same for every person. You have to find what makes you happy and cherish it. Don’t ever let it go and don’t ever take advantage of it.  You can find your happiness in a person, place or thing.  The only things we don’t want to find happiness in is substances or things not healthy for us ( Obviously, Samantha )

I find my happiness in laughter of others.  Seeing people I care about and love.  Late nights and early mornings.  Music, coffee and highlighters.  Puppies and walks at the local lake.  Good company and making memories.  Long drives with no destination.  Being capable to being close and intimate without having sex.  Long, deep conversations about the future.  Work, sleep and Netflix.  The breath of fresh air after I’ve been cooped up inside all day.  Taking the first sip of water in the morning.  Waking up with Nugget on one side of my bed and Rocco on the other and Christina somehow on the another ( I think I need a bigger bed ) A nice fall breeze after a few humid days.  The way he looks at me.  Crawling into bed with some music and just floating away after a long day.

See, happiness can literally be found anywhere. You just have to always be looking for it. Someone can walk into your life and influence you  but ultimately the decision is yours.

 

Lots of Love, Samantha