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Staying Present.

How many times have you heard someone tell you to stay in the moment and be present? I know I’ve heard my mother say this to me so much throughout the past few years. It always sounds SO much easier than it really is. What does that even mean? Of course I’m present. I’m here aren’t I?

Wrong.

My body is here. But my head is there. I’m looking at you and hearing you but I’m not listening. I’m scrolling through social media, I’m thinking about the bills that need to be paid or how much I don’t want to go to work on Monday (when its’s only Friday) Why am I thinking about Monday when it’s only Friday? **insert thinking emoji here**

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Lately, I’ve been trying to be more presentIt’s hard, don’t get me wrong, but I do find myself enjoying my time a LOT more than I have in the past. I’m a better mom, daughter, girlfriend, friend and worker. I’m happier. I deleted social media apps from my phone so its not as convenient for me to get into, I disabled notifications on my phone except for important things such as texts, phone calls and updates on my daughters school and I fight my brain every single moment of every single day to push away all the “other” feelings, emotions and thoughts. Easy? No.

Simplifying my life has helped me become more present because I don’t have all these things preventing me from living my best moment. This the best way I can describe how I do it. I’m also only at the beginning stages of simplifying my life, so as I develop more thoughts and best practices, you KNOW I’ll be sharing !!

Nothing bothers me more than having an important conversation with someone and they pick up their phone and start scrolling through Instagram or answer a text. That can wait. This isn’t being selfish, its being present and enjoying the moment. It’s also showing the other person you care about what they have to say and what they are talking about is important.  How about after being intimate with a loved one and them rolling over and checking their phone RIGHT AFTER? Hello.. cuddle me please. ENJOY THE MOMENT.

I can’t stress it enough how hard it really is to do everything I just said, especially if you have an addictive personality or an anxious mind. But I promise you, the more you work at it and the more you simplify, the easier it gets to enjoy and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!

Some things I’ve been doing to help simplify are

  • Meal prepping
  • Wearing the same clothes (washing them of course,) so I don’t have to think about what I wear
  • Deleting apps/disable notifications
  • THROW THINGS AWAY/DONATE
  • Not keeping my phone next to me at all time
  • Being more social ( to help practice being in the moment)
  • MEDITATE, MEDITATE, MEDITATE ( I just go on Youtube for guided meditation before bed) I’ll post some links below.

There’s no better feeling than talking to someone and having nothing else on your mind. That’s the goal.  We’re only human, it’s not going to be perfect… ever. But the more we work toward living our best life, the happier we will be.

 

Happy Humpday !!

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XOXO SAMANTHA

 

 

**I do not own rights to these Youtube channels, just throwing them out there for your use**

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX159cvbQYBvMFvpdsbIDdA

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqPYhcdFgrlUXiGmPRAej1w

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelSealey

 

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My Happy Place

Months ago, I wrote about my happy place. The actual place. Argyle Lake.   There are so many other “happy places” other than an actual place. You can find your happy place in a person, a song or your career. You can find it in reading, writing or your even your dog. Sometimes, we find happiness in the bottom of the bottle or self destructive activities but we’ll save that post for another time. Tonight is all about positivity and straight up LOVE.

When you find your happy place in a person, you’ll know they are the one. You will feel at home. You won’t have any sadness, even through the stress. You won’t feel the need to cope with your problems the way you used to because that person is your crutch. They lift you up when you are down and ALWAYS make sure you are okay. You may know this person your whole life or you may have only met them a few weeks ago. No matter how long, you’ll know. You’ll always know. 

I never believed in finding happiness through a person. I always felt it had to come from within. Yes, this is true. You need to love yourself before you can love someone else. BUT, there is nothing wrong with having a person to influence you to love yourself and find your happiness. That person may even be your happy place. 

Find someone that supports you. Not financially – but emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Find someone that encourages your growth and well being. Find someone that makes you feel like you can accomplish anything with or without them. Find someone that knows your worth just as much as you do. Find that person you want to kiss good-night and good-morning every single day.

Now, obviously there is inspiration behind this post but don’t you dare think for a second that your person HAS to be a lover. This person can be just a friend, too. I’ve found a lot of happiness in friendships and family members.

Like I said, Find someone that supports you and encourages positivity. Someone that knows your worth.  If its a family member or a friend, you may want to steer away from the kissing goodnight and good morning. **This is where you laugh**

Just when you think life is amazing, a curveball is thrown at you and makes life even MORE amazing. Don’t ever give up finding your happy placeperson ( One word, Can I make that a word ?)  You don’t always have to actively look and work for it ; Just live your life and it will find you. 

 

Short post tonight. I promise – I’ll slowly get back into this. I love you all dearly. ♥♥♥ Samantha Erica Theresa Anderson 

 

 

 

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I Want More

When I first signed up for the Career Development Center with my job, it wasn’t a surprise that I am an extrovert. I could talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.. when I’m comfortable. Now, if I’m just getting to know someone, I want to talk and talk and talk and talk but something inside me says “Don’t do it, you’ll scare them away! I probably would scare them away.

I tend to get too deep, too fast. I don’t like small talk. I don’t (just) want to know how your day was or your plans for the next few months. I want to know what keeps you up at night. I want to know your childhood nicknames and what makes you tick.  I want to know what your favorite song means to you and what your wildest fantasy is.  I don’t like to brush the surface.  I tend to get too deep, too fast. 

So, I’m an extroverted-loner because I come off too strong. But I need to be around people. I’ve gotten so used to being alone because I feel like no one understands me and how my brain works.

Some night I sit up thinking and wishing my brain worked differently but then I realize, I really don’t. It can be complicated but I like how I am. I enjoy being intense, sometimes.

I go hard with everything. Not just conversations. I believe my dogs understands me and how I feel. I believe everything happens for a reason and that there is such thing as putting things into the universe. I believe Your Angels protect you and give you signs when need be. I don’t believe in coincidence or luck; that (very) hard work pays off and you should never stop until you are where you want to be. I always want more.

When I first started my job at the bank, I was told I needed to make a certain quota on referrals each month. I was like “WHAT?!” How am I going to do that ? I don’t know how to have small talk.  Besides that, I don’t like small talk. I remember the first time I got coached. The gentleman that was mentoring me at the time came up to me and said to point out something about each customer that you like and build upon that. The first time, I pointed out an elderly mans watch and we had a whole conversation about watches. I felt fulfilled after the conversation but I wanted more. From that day on, I made it a point to have small talk with each client I came in contact with. Once I got comfortable, it started developing into deeper conversations. Conversations about family, divorce, vacations, children, death, etc.  Then I got promoted.  I was now in a position to speak to people on a deeper level. Now, it was my job to dig deeper.  When it’s your job to do something, it feels more natural.  My clients didn’t look at me like I had 5 heads when we talked about their special needs trust account. They knew me on a personal level and they knew I was a trained professional.

When you bring this out into the real world, especially in this day, it doesn’t work that easily.  I feel like if you ask someone a personal question or try to have a deep meaningful conversation, they get nervous and try to hide. You can have your opinion on why this happens, but I put most of the blame on the media and social media. The media because Hollywood has given so many people unnecessary anxiety and insecurity and social media because it’s formed an outlet for people to not have a face to face conversation. Social media sites and online dating have made it so easy to hide behind a screen or a phone.  I’m guilty of this at times.  It’s a security blanket.  You don’t have to worry about a in person reaction. You don’t have to see the look on the person’s face or hear the tone in their voice.  You can ask or say anything you want and not get any real reaction afterward.

I can honestly say, I used to be like that. I used to be that person to brush the surface with people and not want to build a relationship. I would run after “How was your day?” Too clingy. BYE! It scared me to get too close to someone and be vulnerable.  I’ve learned that relationships, in any form, are the key to love. Not just romantic love, but friendships and family love.

Now, it can’t happen fast enough. I want a deep connection more than ever.  There is too much good in life to not share it with someone else.  For me, this is a blessing and a curse.  Blessing because anyone that builds any type of relationship with me, will know that the truth will always be told and I will always always always have something to say.  And I’ll always have an opinion.  A curse because I tend to cause myself unnecessary anxiety and push people away.  Since I don’t like small talk, I feel uncomfortable doing it. Sine I feel uncomfortable doing it, I don’t do it. Since I don’t do it, people think I’m weird and dont talk. Truth is, I’m the total opposite. I could talk for days. But not about the weather or what movies are out.  I talk about hidden meanings and what my favorite smell reminds me of. I’m not ashamed of my past, so I talk about it.  I’m sure being on a first date with someone, you wouldn’t want to hear about the relationship someone has with their child’s other parent or about a life changing mistake  incident that happened years ago.

I’m trying to be patient. I’m holding off for the right people to enter my life, or maybe they are already here and I don’t realize it yet.

Like I said, life is too short to not share it with someone. Don’t be afraid to be you and dig deeper. What’s the worst that can happen?

I’ve been opening up a lot more to people closest to me ( or at least I’ve been trying .) I’ve realized that everyone that is here now, won’t be here forever. I need to make sure I make the best out of each relationship I have and give everyone in my life as much love as I possibly can.

Some people are content with skimming through life and not having a deep foundation with people. Not me. I want more. I need more. And I plan to take each relationship to the next level. So, if you know me personally, buckle up!!

Happy Friday Eve, my loves !

❤️❤️❤️Samantha

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Don’t Let The World Get You.

A few days ago I posted a quote on my InstaBlog ( ReachForTheStars902 ) The quote was “Caring about everyone doesn’t require everyone to care back. Just keep doing you and spread love unconditionally.” This can mean SO many different things.

Unconditional

When I stumbled upon this quote on google images, it really hit me hard. If you know me personally, you’d know that I tend to be a lover ( unless you really piss me off ) I’d rather cheer on a stranger, than hate on someone that did me dirty. That’s just how I roll. I try to see the good in everything, over the bad. Even if things are really bad.  I get twisted up and upset over the smallest things and I love with all my heart.  I rather see the positive over the negative. Sometimes, I let the negativity get to me and I’m sure you do, too. It can be discouraging, at times.  When you try and try to make a change, you try to spread the love, try to encourage others – but you get nothing but a blank stare in return. Or even better, worse than a blank stare – you get some serious shade.  It’s like a giant rain cloud came and shit on your parade.  You know you let it affect you. Don’t lie. Just a little bit ? I’ll be the first to admit that other people’s mood affects me, BIG TIME. Especially if I’m making an obvious effort.

Realistic Samantha  – “How do you spread the love when the rest of the world is miserable ?”

Unrealistic Samantha  – “Simple. Be you.”

Realistic Samantha –  “Okay, Samantha.. For once, please be realistic. Its not “simple.”

Unrealistic Samantha – “Ok, you’re right. After I just had the conversation in my head, I realized that it’s not simple. It takes time and a lot of patience. An extreme amount of trial and error. It takes a lot of deleting toxic people from your life and surrounding yourself with only people who lift you up and are on the same level as you.”

What do I mean by “on the same level as you?” That’s a great question. I’ve been saying this quite frequently.  Honestly, ever since I left Christina’s father, I’ve been using this term. “On my level.” I don’t mean this is an egotistical way, by any means. I actually mean this in the total opposite way. I mean it in a way of self love and self awareness.  When I started saying it after I left him, I simply meant I wasn’t going to settle for someone who didn’t have the same beliefs and morals as me. I wasn’t going to subject myself to the negativity and poor behavior.  I wasn’t going to let this person, or any other negative person influence me and risk my happiness. I was JUST starting my journey, on the road to success and I wasn’t letting anyone get in the way. Not even someone as important as my daughters father. Before we split up, I woke up depressed almost everyday.  I didn’t feel like I had a home for me and my daughter.  It was not a life I wanted for us to live.  I let the actions of other people take over my life.  I let it control me and consume every ounce of me to the point I didn’t have a brain that was controlled by Samantha anymore. I felt like I was in a video game.  My brain was controlled by other people, not only Christina’s dad.  Letting go of the toxicity was the best thing I could have done for not only me, but the most important person in my life… Christina.

The rest was history.  If I didn’t leave, I would have been miserable and depressed. I wouldn’t be the mother and woman I am today.

On my level. This term is not used by me for any reason other than mental health and maturity.  At some point, I did a total life flip and priority switch.  I guess you can say it happened when I had Christina. But I didn’t do most of my growing until I was about a year into my career.  It took a lot of uncomfortable situations and doing things I normally wouldn’t do with people I wouldn’t normally do things with.  A lot of blood, sweat and tears. But I can honestly say, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wouldn’t be who I am today and wouldn’t be growing the way I am, without this process.  You need to trust the process and just go with it.

So,  how does all of this tie into the purpose of this post? Well, in sharing my personal experience, you can see how certain people’s mood and behavior can deflect you from being… YOU. I wanted my true colors to shine through, especially once I became a mother. I wanted my love to spread to others and make a difference in people’s lives.  How can I do this when I hit a huge roadblock ? Which way do I turn when it feels like either way is a dead end ? Well, you pick the opposite road of what you are traveling down now and build more road after the dead end.  Keep going.  If someone or something is holding you back from being you, why do you continue to entertain it ? We were not put on this earth to live for other people’s happiness. Maybe to some extent we were, but not to the point of losing ourselves or not letting our true colors shine through.

True colors. Ha! Trolls. Who loves this movie? “So don’t be afraid to let them show, your true colors, true colors are beautiful.” If you want to be happy at 7AM on a Monday, don’t let the gump in the office tell you to be anything other than happy. If you want to love every person you come in contact with and get to know people for who they really are, don’t let shallow, miserable people get in the way of that.

Just be you. Don’t let society’s views of perfection change you. If you love unconditionally, it will eventually stick.  Someone will catch on along the way and start to spread it themselves.  And so on.  Hopefully, someday this will cause a big love train movement and we will all be happy and love each other. Big dreams, huh ? I think it can happen.  ALWAYS dream big.

nutella

With that being said, I’m going to drift off into dream land.

♥♥♥Samantha

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What Is Getting In Your Way ?

So, We’re two weeks into the New Year. How we feeling ? Have you changed your goals yet ? Have you attempted to make a plan to accomplish your goals for the year or the month?

Sometimes, it’s easier to talk the talk, rather than walk the walk.  What is it that gets in our way of getting up and MOVING ?

**Rant**

I know for me, I’m just lazy. Sometimes, I get into this funk that makes me avoid anything productive. In fact, it does the total opposite. It takes me 5 steps back, when I get lazy. At some point in the laziness, I forget what I’m working toward. Like this blog for instance! I set a goal for myself to post once a week until I really get accustomed to the life style and then increase my posts accordingly. I posted 1 post so far and we’re going into week 3 already. Granted, sometimes I get a writers block and don’t know how to put my feelings into words. Baby steps. In order for me to post once a week, I need to put my feelings into some sort of writing daily and then put it all together at the end of the week. Having a daily theme would help but sometimes I’m so scatter brained, I don’t know which way is up.

** Rant Over.**

Now, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What is getting in your way? I want you to take some time. Write down exactly what you want to accomplish by the end of February ( since January is almost over ) Like I said in my last post, putting in it writing will help you keep it in the front of your mind. So, put it in writing and then write down what you are going to do to get there. Bullet point is my favorite way to do this. Then write down your obstacles. Basically, What’s getting in your way. Put some real effort into this because this will be the determining factor weather you move past it or not. Some common obstacles are :

  • Finances
  • Insecurity
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Fear of change
  • No support
  • Too much influence in the opposite direction
  • Time management

And so on…

Once you’ve determined WHAT is in your way, we need to figure out how to eliminate that factor or make it more subtle. You can get help figuring out how to eliminate these obstacles but only you can really tell how to do it because you are the only one that’s going to work toward it.

You may need to make your network smaller for a bit, you may need to make it bigger. You might need to cut back on extra spending or start making lists to prioritize. There are a TON of websites and applications to help you accomplish your goals and be more productive, so you can’t use the excuse of having no resources.

No matter what you do or how you do it. Make it your own and get started today. Don’t wait until Monday or next month. If you’re not ready now, you’ll never be ready.

❤️❤️❤️ Happy Sunday !! Samantha

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In Spirit Of The New Year.

So, I went on a little hiatus and got a little caught up on life. This blog isn’t to make me money and it isn’t to get attention. It’s has two purposes.

1.Help people that have been in the same situations as me or have the same type of mentality as me.

2. Clear MY mind and help me relax. I enjoy writing but sometimes life gets in the way.

A few posts ago, I wrote about my not so perfect life. So, by the time I get home from work and do my “2nd job,” sometimes I’m too tired to even open up my laptop. Sometimes, I’m even asleep before my daughter. LOL!

Anyway, this year, I will be planning out my posts a little bit better and organizing myself so I have time and energy to write more frequently. This goal brings me to the reasoning for this post.

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What are your plans for 2018 and how do you plan to keep up with your goals?

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Now, I’m not a huge “resolution girl.” BUT – I am extremely goal driven and I am constantly making up different plans for myself to be more successful, east healthier, be a better mom/person, etc. Make it a point, for yourself, to come up with realistic goals for 2018 and stick to them. It doesn’t necessarily have to be to eat healthier, go back to the gym or enroll in school. This year, I’m striving for even better mental health. My anxiety has subsided over the years but why not keep working at it? There is one thing that comes to mind when I think about mental health and how to prevent issues. Simplicity. My mother always told me (especially after I became a mother) to simplify my life. I never realized the wonders it could do.  Simplifying could mean a lot of things, depending on your lifestyle. My vow for 2018 is to make my life easier. Not only for my sake and the people around me, but for the sake of my daughter. A simple life for me = a simple life for her.

Ok, so I have my goal, my lifestyle change. Do you have yours? It’s okay if you don’t. Goals and changes aren’t limited to New Years only. You can make changes in May. You might wake up on September 9th and say “I need to make this change.” Do what feels right. If you don’t think you need a change right now, DONT DO IT. But, It’s always good to have something to be working toward and have purpose to what you are doing. I always have something new that I’m striving for. Don’t limit yourself. Anyway, set realistic goals with realistic timelines.  Don’t walk into it with this big goal that you know isn’t going to happen. Find something that makes you step out of your comfort zone but not so uncomfortable that you won’t want to work toward it. When you first start, pick small goals. Super small. Drink more water. Now, go to the store, buy a cute water container and some lemons. Fill it up and drink it. Download the water tracker on your phone and do it! Small goals turn into big ones. After that, you can start eating healthier. Go on Pinterest and search meal preps. Meal prepping turns into working out. Working out turns into body building. Body building turns into coaching others to transform their lifestyle just like you did. I bet you didn’t think your plan to drink more water would turn into motivating and coaching others. The limit does not exist. Starting small also keeps you motivated because you are able to achieve more in a short period of time.

Do whatever you need to do to keep these goals a priority. Keep them fresh in your head at all times.  Set daily reminders on your phone, make a note in your phone and use it as your background, create a vision board or simply write a note to yourself and keep it on your nightstand or in your wallet.  No matter how you do it, stay reminded. I just downloaded this application on my I-Phone called “Productive.”  With this, you can set goals daily, weekly or monthly.  You chose the category, for example health.  The subcategory, “Drink more water.” Then you get to schedule it.  You chose how many days a week you want to do it and what time of day. You’ll get a reminder each day for whatever goals you have scheduled.  I’ve been using it for about a week and LOVE so far.

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I find it very important to have an “outcome goal.” This is not a technical term, it’s just something I go by and a phrase I use to organize my thoughts.  To me, an outcome goal is most important because it tells you WHY you are working toward what you are working toward. Okay, so your goal is to eat healthy. WHY do you want to eat healthy? To lose weight, detox or just live a healthy lifestyle in general. No matter what you why is, make sure you have purpose to everything you do.  Why you do it affects how you will do it. 

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Keep motivated daily. Let your family and friends know what ideas you have and what’s going on in that noggin so they can support you, as well.  It’s always better and easier to accomplish goals with the support from loved ones. Many of the things that I have accomplished would not have been possible without the support of some very important people in my life.  It’s great to have this support system because they will be there every step of the way with you. They will be there in the beginning, middle and end when you are celebrating your success.  On the easy days, they will cheer you on and on the rough days they will cheer you up.

Last, but not least, it’s time to reflect.  You made your goal, you found your inspiration, you accepted the support and you’re doing it!! You’re flying high. Do you just stop there? Or do you continue to build. I like the sound of continuing to build. Reflect on your process. How did you get to where you are? What helped you succeed? What were some opportunities for next time? WRITE IT DOWN. Don’t forget this. This is one of the most important steps because it will help you fly even higher next time. Now you know what works and what doesn’t. Do it again with the same goal but a new plan. I can guarantee you will like the results more and more each time.  Can someone say KEY TO SUCCESS?

I know, everyone is probably wondering when we get to celebrate our success. Now. You can celebrate now. But make sure you celebrate everything and take in every moment of your journey.  Blog it, write about it, take pictures of it, sing it, dance it, talk about it, inspire others to take a journey with you.  Your success could very well influence someone else to jump on board and make a change in their life and so one. Next time you know, the whole world is making changes. One person at a time. What have you got to lose? Nothing. But you have everything to gain.

It feels so good to be back ♥♥ Samantha.

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Let It Go

Who here has ever had an anxiety attack?

I know I have. Many times. I have been having panic attacks since I was 16 years old. 10 years worth of uncontrollable, groundbreaking body shaking and heart palpitations. Unnecessary sweats. Missing out of events and get togethers I can never get back. Losing friendships and relationships. Self consciousness. Passing up opportunities. The list goes on.

I typically don’t like to bring up the past but I am a firm believer in the fact that your past makes you who you are today. So many things have happened to humanity over the years.

Having anxiety or depression is not only mental, it affects you physically, as you may already know. Sometimes one panic attack could have me sick for days.

At one point, when I didn’t have control of my life ( See “It Is (Not) What It Is”) I was on medication for the anxiety and depression. Well to make a long story short, the medicine had a reverse affect on me and did not create a great experience. It made things worse. I lost my first apartment, lost friends, almost lost my job, wasn’t getting along with my family and THIS list goes on.

After this time in my life, I thought I learned my lesson to not stress and do silly things because I continued doing silly things for 4 more years after that.

I stressed over every little thing, self medicated and was as negative as anyone could be. There were times where I didn’t leave my house because I was so afraid something was going to happen to me.

It was once I found out I was have a baby I began to stop stressing over the little things because I knew I’d have to save my energy for bigger things from there on out.

It’s very easy to get sucked into worrying about every little thing. But it’s healthier to not.

I’ll list some things I have done to easy my mind a bit, maybe some of the tips will help YOU.

  • First things first, you need to dig deep and find out exactly what it is that causes your anxiety or worry. Create a plan or write about how you are going to overcome it. Always remember, most of your worry are made up in your head!
  • Do a social media detox. Delete or unfollow anything that posts about world and politic issues, negative pages or anything that makes you cringe. Personally, I deleted Anonymous, any news pages and any pages that I noticed posted animal cruelty videos or posts frequently.
  • I do not have cable in my bedroom, therefore I do NOT watch the news. Ever! I stream movies and shows off Netflix or my computer. No news, no problem. Sometimes there is a whole lot of truth in the quote “Ignorance Is Bliss.”
  • This may go one of two ways for any given person but I have decided to limit my circle of friends. Some people like to be surrounded by people all the time, but that creates a large amount of anxiety for me.

These are just a few of the major steps I have taken to reduce my anxiety levels.

Truth of the mater, if there is something you are concerned about, take action right away. I used to be the queen of dwelling and internalizing for about a week, then coming up with a plan (another week) and then taking forever to act on it. I have wasted so much time on “planning.” If you are a natural worrier, you need to be able to think and act quick on your troubles. It will make a big difference. And if it’s something you physically, mentally or financially can’t accomplish at that time, just be patient and shift your energy to something more positive. I’m still learning but I’d love to take you all on this journey and help each other out on the way.

❤️❤️❤️Happy Sunday, Samantha

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Be You.

See the source image

There is only one you.

You only get one opportunity at life. Make the best of it and live it to your fullest potential.

When we are children, we are usually taught to do things a certain way and it follows us to when we become teenagers and then adults, depending on how we were raised. At some point, we start to develop our own sense of music choice, style, values and interests in general. Our career path may change multiple times, our friend group may change even more times and we may change our diet from vegetarian to low-carb every other week. Who cares? As long as your morals and values stay consistent with being a decent human being and you treat others with respect, what does it matter what you like and do not like ?

Let’s go back to high school, for a minute. There were so many different groups of people. You had the musicians, gangstas, jocks and cheerleaders, emo kids, stoners, loners, nerds, class pets, drama club and skaters. Then you had the posers (someone who likes something just because its cool at the moment.) If you were a combination of more than one of these groups, you were weird and did not fit in .Now, high school is a good time for these groups.  But after high school, not so much. As human beings, we should not be classified with a label. And we should not classify other people with a label.

Me specifically, I find myself to dip into each group at times.  Does that make me weird ? No. Who said we all need to do things a certain way to fit in? Growing up I was always different. I have a wide variety of interests which seems weird to some people but guess what, I DONT CARE! Everything about me, makes me… me. If one thing was different about me, I would be totally different.

My music goes from Slipknot to frank Sinatra to Green Day to Justin Bieber . Red Hot Chilli Peppers, A Day To Remember and Ellie Goulding to name a few. I don’t like designer brands. Some days I get dressed and do my hair and makeup, other days I look like I just rolled out of bed. I drink a ridiculous amount of coffee and I vape. Sometimes I like to be alone. Other times I can’t stand my own company. I’m human and I’m me. You are human and you are you. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are not good enough. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your goals or dreams are silly. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are wrong for liking what you like and doing what you do. If it makes you happy, it doesn’t matter who approves it. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, ALWAYS!

If we were all uniform and the same, there would be no fun in this crazy life. There would be no sparks and no curiosity. There would be no such thing as soulmates because we would all be the same. What we likes separates us from everyone else. It creates your individuality and makes you who you are.

It’s very easy to get caught up in the latest fads and between social media and the internet in general. All You have to do is go on Instagram and search a hashtag. Do you want to be just another hashtag or do you want to make an impression?

#Sweetdreams ❤️❤️❤️ Samantha

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It Is (Not) What It Is

It Is What It Is.

One of the most used, lazy, ridiculous quotes out there. I used to say this all the time. Then I realized, it is NOT what it is. I have control of my life. It is what it is is the ambitious way of saying something along the lines of “I don’t have control of the situation.”

You see, almost everything we go through, we have the ability to have power. Not all the time, though. There are certain times and instances where we do not have control but we do have control over how we react to it.

For lack of better terms, in my eyes, if you live by this quote, you need to rethink who or what inspires you and take control of your life.

A bunch of years ago, probably close to 10 years ago, I got into some trouble with a close friend at the time. I didn’t really care much about life, quite honestly, I didn’t want to be here anymore (at that time.) I felt I had no purpose because I was about to graduate high school with no plan, no support, no real friends and hated the world. I looked at this situation as just another day, I’ll take the consequences and keep doing the same thing over and over again. It is what it is, right ? I thought I had no control over what I was doing.

I didn’t do much growing, mentally, until I was about 21. Even then, it was very slow for me. Now, when I was 21, I got into some more trouble ( I promise I’m a good girl now ) At this point, I had already started to mature and with me, it’s all or nothing, so I wasn’t turning back just because something bad happened to me. Not once did I say or think it is what it is. I made every possible change I could make. I read every possible book I could read. I went to every single meeting I could get to. And I paid every single dime I had to. It wasn’t what it was. And it isn’t what it is.

I had the opportunity to change my life and by believing I was in control, it got me very far. I had a head start, compared to other people.

I feel that if we change the way we think and perceive things, we can move mountains as the human race. We can make a difference if we reflect and see what’s really going on.

Everyone says they want to change the world or they wish things were different. Well guess what, it isn’t what it is.

We may feel stuck at times and feel like we are getting nowhere but keep working on the situation at hand and you will see changes. It may not take a day, a week, a month or even a year but when you look back, you’ll think to yourself “I’m glad I didn’t leave things as is.”

I’m sure glad I didn’t leave things as they were.

Remember. Reflect. Redo. ❤️❤️❤️ Samantha

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Get To Know Me

So I’m having a bit of a mental block tonight but want to keep the consistency of writing each day.  I found a pin on Pinterest of 50 personal questions that I will share with you.  I think a Get To Know Me is always super important when you put yourself out there. For a few reasons… 1) I want you to know I’m just like you. 2) Some things may not just come out in a typical blog entry, so why not play 21 (50 in this case) questions.  I have not looked at any of the questions yet, so I am a bit nervous. I will try to be as transparent as possible. Here goes nothing!

  1. Who was the last person you held hands with ?  Technically, my daughter. We always hold hands, even  when we are home sometimes.  Always when we are out though.
  2. Are you loud, outgoing or shy ? This is a good one.  It all depends on my surroundings.  Personality tests say I am a solid extrovert. I feed off of other peoples energy.  It’s case by case with me though.  I am a huge combo of all 3.
  3. Who are you looking forward to seeing ? Wouldn’t you like to know. Next,
  4. Are you easy to get along with ? Super. I can adapt to just about any personality.
  5. Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to him or her ? Haven’t we all ? Especially if its someone you really cared or cared about.  I’ve done it a few times but recently I made a promise to myself, if things didn’t work out the first time, I’m not going back. I’m trying to move forward, not backward.
  6. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you ? I would hope so.
  7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship 2 months from now ? Who knows? Right now, I’m just chillen.  If I am, awesome-sauce. If not, just as awesome.
  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind ? Why are there so many questions about my love life ? Can I answer a question with a question?
  9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No.
  10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with ? My family.
  11. What does your most recent text say ? “I’m pretty excited.”
  12. How do you feel about abortion ? This is a touchy subject to me and a lot of women. I’m pro choice – within reason, responsibly. I feel a woman should be able to do what she wants and feels she needs to do with her body. But like I said, within reason, there comes a certain point in the term where its unacceptable.
  13. Do you like big crowds of people ? Eh, not really. This is another thing that depends on who I’m with. a crowd of people I do not know, NO WAY. People I know, sometimes. LOL. I prefer small, intimate crowds.
  14. Do you believe in luck and miracles ? For lack of better terms, no.  I believe in hard work and morals. In extreme situations such as near death experiences and pregnancy, yes. Anything else, no.
  15. What good things happened this summer ? Good things are always happening lately. But this summer… I got a really cool job transfer to a location that was so new to me and got me to where I am now.
  16. Would  you kiss the last person you kissed again ? For sure.
  17. Do you think there is life on other planets ? There has to be. There cant be 8 other big balls of rock and lava just floating around with no purpose.
  18. Do you still talk to your first crush ? I couldn’t even tell you who my first crush was.
  19. Do you like bubble baths ?  I happen to LOVE bubble baths.
  20. Do you like your neighbors ? I don’t really know them but sure. They seem cool.
  21. What are your bad habits ? I’m very insecure. I twirl/knot my hair when I’m anxious.  I pick my eyebrows sometimes.
  22. Where would you like to travel ? Italy has always been a dream of mine but lately I’ve been broadening my horizons with my bucket list. I’d love to go anywhere I can see a live penguin, in its habitat. Not in captivity.  I’d love to go to Africa and see ALL the animals.
  23. Do you have trust issues ? Big time, but I’m working on it.
  24. Favorite part of your daily routine ? Probably putting my pj’s on and snuggling with Christina.
  25. What body parts are you most uncomfortable with ? My legs and stomach.  My body changed a LOT after I had Christina.  My stomach used to be flat and if I got bloated, I could get it back to normal very quickly. Now, it’s very difficult to keep the pounds off.
  26. What do you do when you wake up ? During the week, I get right in the shower. Weekends, I typically will watch some TV in bed for an hour or so.
  27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker ? I like my skin color.
  28. Who are you most comfortable around ? Myself.
  29. Have any of your x’s told you they regret breaking up ? Yes. Bye Felicia.
  30. Do you ever want to get married ? I’d love to get married someday.
  31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail ? Yes, it is. A big floofy ponytail.
  32. Which celebrities would you like having a 3some with ? Lord .. Justin Bieber and Vinny from Jersey Shore. I’d marry the shit out of Vinny, though. So I don’t know if I could have a 3 some with him. LMAO
  33. Spell your name with your chin. Well the circumstances don’t call for that right now.
  34. Do you play sports ? I do not.
  35. Would you rather live without TV or music ? TV. I can’t live without music. Music heals all.
  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them ? Yes. A few times. The time just didn’t call for it.
  37. What do you say during awkward silences ? I typically don’t have awkward silences. But if I notice something starting to get weird, I typically say “Well this is awkward. “
  38. Do you think age matters in a relationship ? Eh, it really depends. I don’t think minors and legal age should be mingling. I don’t think age matters in the grand scheme of things though.
  39. What are your favorite stores to shop in ? I’m a huge Marshals, TJMaxx and Home Goods fan. I LOVE S DSW. Sephora, obviously. Best Market.  Target.
  40. What do you want to do after high school ? I guess this was meant for high schoolers. Well, I’ve been out of high school 8 years and I am NOT doing what I thought I’d be doing. Always remember, things don’t always play out the way you want it to. Go with the flow and always have a back up plan.
  41. Do you believe everybody deserves a second chance ? Yes. And 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th. I’m a huge forgiver.  I take people back until my heart is completely sore. THEN I cut my ties. I like to see as much good in people as possible. Once I see no more good, I end it.
  42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does that mean ? It means I’m either taking everything and I’m at loss for words, in a good way. OR I’m thinking HARDCORE about something.
  43. Do you smile at strangers ? Of course I do.
  44. Trip to outer space or the bottom of the ocean ? This is a hard one …. I think outer space.
  45. Do you want a roommate ? I’ve done it a few times. At the moment, no, I do not.
  46. What are you paranoid about ? Just about everything. Literally. I’ve gotten better though.
  47. What is the meanest thing someone ever said to you ? Mean guys used to call me fat in high school, so I guess those fat jokes.
  48. The nicest thing. I deserve all good things to happen for me and am a beautiful person, inside and out.
  49. Have you done anything recently that you hope no one finds out about ? Not really, I don’t hide things or keep secrets.
  50. What language would you like to learn ? Italian, duah.

 

That was actually kind of fun. Things like this, really make me thing sometimes so it’s good to get my juices flowing again.  We are all human. We all have fears and we all have insecurities. All we can do it lift each other up and realize that we are all the same. Net worth and how large our posse is, means nothing. It’s whats in your heart and the level of humanity you present. Hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll be doing some Thanksgiving posts this week !! ♥♥ Suh-man-tha